The United Nations has declared that following intense surveillance of
the national polity for the past three years, Nigeria has been declared
an open-air mental asylum open to Nigerians and foreigners alike who
suffer from all forms of mental health conditions. Due to embedded
Corruption, Kidnapping, NEPA wahala, Boko-Haram, Pastor-mania,Northern
Elders pronouncements, Fuel subsidy, Ritual killings, Blakberry-itis,
Naija cheap pop music, Polio medical worker killings, Dana Flying
Coffins Air, Nollywood and Baby farms - 'there can be no doubt that
citizens of this country suffer from marked bi-polar psychosis and as
such deserve intensive medical treatment'.
A 1200-member team of
medical experts have flown to Abuja bringing branded medicine as the
local variety cannot be verified as there are cabals who have flooded
the market with counterfeit merchandise. 50 Psychiatrists will work
intensively with former political appointees who have been suffering
from delusions of grandeur and psychotic behaviour as they believed they
assisted the Nigerian masses in their fight against grinding poverty.
The most powerful drugs have been earmarked for IBB, who on meeting the
medical experts for the first time, stressed that 'One Nigeria is his
baby and he is ready to hold RPG to protect national unity'.
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